The Four Card Kingdoms
by Velgamidragon
Summary: COMPLETED. A King falls from grace. A provincial noble becomes a King. An orphaned girl is chosen to be Queen. A young man inherits the title of Jack. And two Jokers unite at the Crossroads where all things end. These are the four Card Kingdoms of their unique world. Cardverse AU.
1. Joker

The Four Card Kingdoms

**Author's Note: Yes, I'm writing for the Cardverse AU. Why? Because I'm sick of seeing USUK everywhere and I'm disappointed with the unoriginality that's implied in the **_**summaries**_** for all the Cardverse-centric fics that I've seen. Seriously, we've been given an entirely new **_**world**_** all our own to create with unique history, system of governments, culture, and economics, and all I find is gloom-and-doom USUK splashed across the dash. The Cardverse fandom (if I can even call it that) has been a very disappointing one to say the least, so I decided that I would try and spruce it up a bit with something different, new, and hopefully refreshing. Also, if I ever decide to write any type of plot-based story set in Cardverse, I will use the contents of THIS story as my base.**

**Disclaimer: The entire idea of **_**this **_**Cardverse world I have created is mine, though the character concepts are clearly Himaruya-san's.**

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**Joker**

Erszébet stood in silence, her expression a conflicted mixture of reproach, anger, and despair. Of all the people that could have- why _him_?! He _knew_ better! He _should_ have known better! He was a King after all!

"Ah, so this is the little troublemaker who tried to kill me," Ivan said as he knelt down before the captive man, who was being held back by Roderich, and he smiled sadly. "I knew you didn't like me, but what did I ever do to warrant you're trying to _kill_ me, King Gilbert?" he asked, and she'd been in the man's company long enough to know that the King of Clovers was genuinely confused.

Gilbert glared at him, those eyes the same red color as his clothes, and another attempted lunge proved futile against Roderich's grip, which Erszébet had to admit was impressive that he'd managed to hold onto him for so long. She'd rough-housed with Gilbert in her childhood, so she knew how strong he was, and she knew that Roderich couldn't be a pushover if he was the Jack, but she'd had no idea he was _that_ strong!

"Don't you play that whole innocent card with me, King Club," Gilbert growled in his throat. "I don't care that the local authorities claimed that it was a result of an electrical fire; I _know_ it was you who arranged to have that textile mill blow-up! That was the best-producing mill we had in the entire kingdom and it's _way_ too convenient that the mill you were building along that same river just _happened_ to be finished and producing within a day of the incident and that you were able to quickly supply cloth to those in my kingdom near your border for _half_ the price they would have paid if they'd had to purchase it from one of my mills that are farther away from them. You _planned_ for that incident to cripple the textile production in my kingdom!"

Ivan frowned, possibly a bad sign, and stood up tall and towering and frightening, "I never did any such thing, King Gilbert; your accusations are false."

"Bullshit!"

Ivan acted as though he hadn't heard the profanity and continued on with a sigh as if he was remonstrating a slow child, "You really shouldn't have been so hasty in your assumptions, King of Hearts. I had always warned you about picking your fights more carefully. Do you remember the frozen Sipepu Lake, little King? I do. I told you not to try and fight me on the ice because it might crack, but you didn't listen and you fell through. I saved you and reminded you that I had _warned_ you. Why have you always been such a naughty boy who never listens? No matter…" Ivan reached out and grasped Gilbert's white hair in an iron grip and Gilbert failed to suppress a gasp as his hair was pulled at the roots. "A King trying to kill the King of another Kingdom? That's a _very_ bad thing to do," Ivan said, and his voice was subtly-dark and angry. "A _very_ serious _international _crime. There is only one punishment that will suffice; I think you know which one I mean."

Erszébet was sure her eyes were as wide as Gilbert's and Roderich's. The punish- he didn't mean-!

"Your Majesty, you don't mean the Jo-Crossban!" Roderich exclaimed, which mirrored her thoughts exactly.

Ivan suddenly smiled at the Jack and said, "Of course I do, Jack Roderich! This falls within the standards set by the Crossroads Convention of 1268 over 500 years ago, so I will do just that."

"Yes, but Your Majesty, the Jo-Crossban is one of the most severe provisions of the 1268 Convention! You can't just-!" Roderich protested, but stopped when Ivan fixed him with an irritated look, violet eyes locked onto violet eyes.

"If it were our beloved Queen Erszébet that he'd tried to kill, would you still be so willing to show this mercy, my Jack?"

She saw the slight hesitation flash into Roderich's eyes for a brief second before his expression was strong and stoic against Ivan's irritation and he said, "Yes, my King, because Gilbert, attempted assassin or no, is still a part of my family, and family bonds are still a highly-valued virtue in this kingdom, are they not?"

It was true, though she _never_ would have guessed that on her own if he hadn't told her and had Gilbert confirm it. Roderich may have inherited the position of Jack of Clovers from his mother, but Gilbert was his half-brother through his father, Wilhelm Germania, the patriarch of the House of Rhineland which was a historically-Spadian family or so she'd been told if her boys were to be believed.

The irritation completely disappeared from Ivan's face and he smiled again. "Yes, family bonds are very important, Roderich. I envy you yours. However, I have decided his punishment and it's _my_ prerogative as King to give as has been appropriately detailed within the terms of the Convention." Ivan raised his staff and slammed it into the ground, causing a resounding echo throughout the chamber. "By the authority invested as the King Clovers under the provision of the Crossroads Convention of 1268, Article II, Section I, for attempted assassination of another King, I hereby strip you, King Gilbert, of all your rights and prerogatives as the King of Hearts and Heir to the Rhineland family estates, and banish you from the territories of the four Card Kingdoms. You shall henceforth bear the title of Joker and be accepted nowhere within the realms. If you are found to have taken refuge within any of the four kingdoms, the remedial penalty for breaking the ban is execution. And so your sentence is decreed!" Ivan threw his staff out straight like a sword and the large red jewel at the end shone brightly just before a beam of red and black lightning-like energy shot out and struck Gilbert square on the chest.

Roderich leapt back seconds before impact, and just in time too, because he wouldn't have been able to hold Gilbert without getting hurt in the process. Gilbert screamed in agony as the magic that Ivan so rarely used struck him full force and ensnared him in their angry, crackling energy, and he was quickly down on all fours, aiming for a pseudo-half-fetal position rather than curling up completely in front of his enemies and Erszébet gritted her teeth as she watched her proud friend struggling to contain his convulsions from where he knelt on their floor. That wasn't the only thing that was happening to him though. His clothes were changing around him, losing even the very few fineries of royalty he _did_ wear and the red color of them was turning into pitch black, save a devilish design on the back and left sleeve, while the undershirt became a solid blood red. And that wasn't all either! On both sides of his head, several strands of his white hair clumped together into two tufts and flared out like horns on the sides of his head, and there was only a slight ripping of cloth and another howl of pain before she saw a long black, arrow-headed tail flailing about wildly behind him.

Finally, the angry energy dispersed as well as Gilbert's pain and he collapsed face-first onto the floor, his appearance so drastically changed from before, and Erszébet suddenly realized how frantic her breathing was. She knew of the Jokers, everyone did, but she'd never seen one before now, much less the transformation of a person _into_ one, and to think that it was her best friend of all people. She recalled so vividly in those moments how much she'd feared the stories her uncle had told of the lawless Jokers and how many times he'd barely escaped them with his life. Jokers were always supposed to be the worst types of people imaginable, those that none of the Kingdoms would allow entrance or work or food and they were simply left to die slow, agonizing, lonesome deaths. But now Gilbert was a Joker too. She suddenly felt more sympathy for the Jokers than she ever had in her life.

Gilbert groaned aloud and he slowly managed to push himself up enough that he was sitting on his knees, but still curled up protectively around himself. When he looked up, he saw her first and she felt her heart skip a beat; she'd never seen that expression on his face before: scared and uncertain and searching for something. What would happen to her dear friend Gilbert now?

Out of nowhere, Gilbert flinched suddenly, recoiling away and he glared at her, his teeth bared and his tail twitching angrily. "Don't you dare!" he barked, "Don't look at me like that! Not you too! I don't want your pity!"

Erszébet opened her mouth to protest Gilbert's irrational stupidity at such an accusation, but Ivan cut her off and drowned out her first few words, saying, "You shouldn't talk like that to my Queen, little Joker." A brilliant smile (a sinister one) adorned his face again. "Goodbye!" And with a sharp 90 degree turn of the staff, Gilbert disappeared from the room in a blinding flash of green light and all was quiet. Too quiet. The silence was broken by Ivan. "Well, that was fun, but I guess we should inform the Heart Kingdom that they need to elect a new king since theirs has become a Joker," he said with an air of remorse, "Jack Roderich, if you would be so kind as to have your black eagle send the message, I believe that would ensure the fastest delivery of the news. And we should probably also inform the other two kingdoms of what has transpired here. We don't want to cause a misunderstanding and start a silly little war over this."

"Jas, your Majesty, I shall see to it," Roderich said quietly, but Erszébet could hear the slight quiver in his voice as he spoke, and the fact that he slipped back into the more Northwestern Spadian dialect he'd picked up when living in the old forests with his father (the 'jas' was the biggest giveaway; it sounded like 'yahs' rather than 'yes'). He too was shaken up. She'd been staring at the spot where Gilbert had disappeared so intently that she didn't see Roderich walking until he stood right in front of her, "Erszébet?"

She gave a startled jump back, but didn't get very far because his hands had grasped hers (she wasn't even aware of him doing that). "Oh! Roderich! Yes?"

"Are you alright?"

"What? Yes! Yes, I'm fine! I'm fine! I-!"

"Oh, I'm sorry Queen Erszébet," Ivan said suddenly, sincerely apologetic, as he came to stand next to her. "I forgot that the former King was an old friend of yours. That must have been hard for you."

"Don't talk about him like he's dead!" Erszébet screeched and violently pulled back from him and consequently ended up stepping into Roderich because he still held her hands.

"But as the King of Hearts, he _is_ dead, Queen Erszébet," Ivan said with a concerned frown (she always found it somewhat unnerving that his expressions always matched his actual emotions whenever he was talking to _her_, when they never matched the rest of the time), "He is a Joker now and the sooner you accept that, the better off you'll be. The Queen of Clovers has more important things to do than worry about some Joker."

She was just about to scream bloody murder at him and probably attempt to kill him herself when Roderich stepped between her and Ivan and said, "Perhaps it is best if we allow the Queen to retire early today. Regardless of who it entails, watching a Joker transformation can be quite a stressful and upsetting event for someone who has never witnessed it before. Also, Erszébet has never seen a Joker before; you know she comes from no noble family, so I'd imagine she's at least a bit shocked by that aspect as well."

"Hmm, that is true, I suppose," Ivan relented, "Very well then. It really is no good to have a Queen who can't function well. You are free to leave off your duties for the rest of the day, Queen Erszébet. Jack Roderich and I will take care of everything else in your absence."

"Th-Thank you… you two…" Erszébet said breathlessly, even though in her heart, she really only meant the gratitude for Roderich.

"I shall escort our Queen to her room," Roderich declared and then added, "It's on the way to my eagle's roosting place anyway, so it shall take no extra time at all. Are you coming, my Queen?"

"Y-Yes, I am," Erszébet said quickly and took Roderich's proffered arm, eager to get as far away from Ivan as fast as possible.

They were silent the entire time they walked together and only when they were just outside of Erszébet's room did Roderich say, "I'm sorry."

"Eh? For what, my Jack?"

"For our King. I should have intervened before he could say those tactless things to you."

"Really, Roderich? You're apologizing for that?" She could almost laugh. "Don't be ridiculous. It's not your fault that Ivan is an only child who doesn't know how to deal with people. And what he said wasn't illogical; it was almost pragmatic even. Logically, as the Queen of Clovers, I shouldn't worry about any of the Jokers, because-"

"Erszébet, stop it," Roderich commanded, stepping out in front of her and gripping her shoulders, and she found herself gazing into those violet eyes that were the same color as Ivan's, but always so much warmer than his could ever be. "Just stop. You and I both know that Gilbert was very important to you, and I can't stand hearing you try to brush him aside like he was no big deal. I am the Jack of Clovers. It is my job to balance out and ease any tensions between the King and Queen in order to promote synergy and effective governance, which is the whole reason the Tripartites of the four Card Kingdoms have been such a success. I've known Ivan for a long time now and I understand him better than anyone else, and as such, I should have been able to divert the situation before it got out of hand like that. If I can't even do that much, what kind of a Jack am I?"

"But Roderich…" Erszébet said softly as she stared up at him. His eyes… Even from behind the glasses, she could see what he was trying so desperately to hide. "If it's up to you to keep things running smoothly between the King and the Queen, then who will you unburden _yourself_ to? I can see it." She reached up and gently plucked his glasses from his face, not taking her green eyes off him for a second, "You're trying to hide it, but I can see it." She experimentally reached back up to his ears and caressed the hair at his temple, feeling the short soft strands slip through her fingers. "His words about Gilbert hurt you too. How incredibly selfless of you, you foolish man. He was your own brother and yet you're more worried about how _I'm_ handling his banishment."

In an act of completely-selfish spontaneity, she grabbed his face with both hands and kissed him, hoping that it would somehow convey even a _tiny_ part of the gratitude and relief that she felt for having such an understanding man like him to be here for her after losing her best friend. When he kissed her back and held her tight against him, she fancied that he felt the same as she did right at that moment. When their lips had nothing more to say, Erszébet gave back Roderich's glasses and he left her just outside her room as he'd promised while he went to go retrieve his eagle to send those three messages. She couldn't blame Ivan, she really couldn't; he may be an adult, but he still didn't really know any better about how to deal with social situations, even though he _had_ made obvious improvement since her very first meeting with him several years ago. Despite that, it didn't stop her from feeling comforted by the fact that she had someone to share in her misery. The fact of the matter was that though, yes, Gilbert was alive and she knew exactly where he was, he was dead for all intents and purposes. Unless she traveled to the Crossroads for an international Convention, whenever the next one was held between the four kingdoms, she would never see him again.

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_Before I begin the main content of the footnote, I would like to say that these chapters are written in chronological order to avoid any possible confusion since I don't have a timeline worked out yet for when these things all happen (and I still need to draw a map of these kingdoms too). Also, because this is Cardverse AU, some relationships will be altered (like how Russia is an only child; it was much easier to say that than to explain why Ukraine and Belarus were part of the Heart Kingdom while still remaining siblings). I plan to upload the second chapter tomorrow morning if everything goes well since it's already written._

_This is my take on how the Jokers come into being, which means that in this verse, there __**can**__ be more than one Joker. My reasoning behind making the Jokers be criminals in exile is because in all the card games I've played, either we take out the Jokers because we don't need them or getting a Joker always means something bad, hence why I gave the Jokers the negative connotation in my take on this AU. Sealand is a special case, but I'll get to him in the last chapter. Also, I'm pretty sure I made it clear, but just in case… the Kings and Queens are __**not**__ married! And the power system of the four kingdoms is based on the shared power of three individuals, called the Tripartite that compose of the King, the Queen, and the Jack, that govern the Kingdoms together as one unit and all three members obtain their positions in different ways as I alluded to in this chapter. The whole point of the next three chapters is actually to explain how the three members of the Tripartite come into their respective positions._

_And of course, I couldn't keep out the AusHun (don't want to); it's just far too easy and natural to slip it in there. Lol, I think I might have thrown a bit of Frying Pangle shipping hints in there too (which was completely unintentional if I managed that :P)_


	2. King of Spades

**Author's Note: Okay, so I didn't manage to get this chapter out this morning, but it can't be helped (not when I slept 10 hours last night and so badly needed it), so it's out now (not that I expect many people to read this story anyway, but whatever. I write for myself and other people happen to take a liking to some of the things I write; that's how it works).**

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**King of Spades**

Arthur _really_ hated it when the Kings died. It was bad enough when he was first whisked away from his comfortable life with his modest silk-making business that he managed with his wife, Elizabeth, and into the position of Queen of Spades without the foggiest idea of what he'd done to deserve such a punishment. Okay, it wasn't that quick; there was that whole whirlwind of a voting process thing that had happened far too quickly for him to get a grasp on what the bloody hell was going on until too late! He was Queen! He (and his wife by extension) had to completely adjust to a new way of life and remember important (actually remember _who _was important) peoples' bloody names (and not just calling them all twats, frogs, prats, and wankers in his head). And then by the time he'd _finally_ gotten used to being Queen of the Kingdom and what all the different monarchs of the other three kingdoms were like… the Diamond King had to go and die on him and was replaced with the most insufferable, irritating, flirtatious frog of a man he'd ever met!

Arthur wasn't quite sure _what_ he did to catch that man's eye, but he seemed to pop out of nowhere at the most inappropriate times whenever he had to go to the Diamond Kingdom (or when the Diamonds had to come to the Spade Kingdom) and say about twenty different things filled with enough innuendo to make even a satyr blush. It didn't even seem to _matter _to that depraved man that he was married and also had a son the same age as his own! It had felt like eternity to Arthur (it had only been a month, but screw reality!) before the frequency of these attacks finally leveled off to a reasonable level, but he had been _severely_ tempted into seeing if his big magic clock thing could make the man regress in age or size (he didn't even know if the clock could do that, but it was a nice thought when he was frazzled out of his wits) to something less annoying… like a speck of dust… But knowing his luck, that speck would just fly right up his nose and do who-knew-what to his throat and lungs (with the frog though, he didn't actually want to know _what_ the man would do if he was a dust speck).

The second King that had been replaced while he was in his office as Queen was the King of Hearts. Now that guy hadn't actually _died_, but becoming a Joker was pretty much the same thing, since a new king still had to be elected. Like the other Card monarchs though, he was absolutely shocked that the Heart King's successor was not only from the same House of Rhineland as the previous king, but was the man's youngest half-brother, just barely an adult and the youngest King of any of the four Card Kingdoms. He'd have thought that none of the Electors would want another Rhineland as King after the last one had become a Joker, the most shameful thing that could happen to a man, but apparently, the kid had really been advocating for the position, acting as a sort-of Regent King until the next one was chosen and doing everything he could to keep the country's government running smoothly.

It seemed to convince the Electors that he was not only worthy, but nothing like his fiery older brother in terms of temperament, but Arthur was concerned. He hoped that King Ludwig hadn't started a precedent with his month-long tenure as Regent King before becoming the King of Hearts. It was absolutely critical that the position of King _not _be passed down through the family lines, or else concentrated power could lead to corruption of the government via absolute rule under a single authority figure, hence why they had their current system. The Card Kingdoms had already seen a violent and bloody history of what happens when one person wields ultimate authority, and though that was hundreds of years ago, Arthur had no desire to see a repeat of those days if the literature written back then was _anything_ like what really happened (and there were so many accounts of such throughout all four kingdoms that Arthur really couldn't see any way to deny it).

But the point was (yes, he _did _have a point, thank you very much) that it always sucked when the King died because it was like they did it just to spite him and make his life difficult, and it was even _worse_ with his own King. He'd gotten along very well with the elderly King Anglosaxon (who was consequently the last of the House of Goth), like he was a father to him, and even his own son, Peter, had called the man his grandpapa. But then the idiot had to go and die on him after Arthur had only been in office for ten years and that just wasn't fair! Alcohol would have been his best friend _ever _except that it would make him feel even worse than before he'd start drinking it, so it was his _worst enemy_ in _existence_… but only second to the Frog King!

So that meant that all the Heads of the noble families of Spade, the Electors as they were called, had to decide and vote for who would become the next King of Spades, someone from any of the Card Kingdom noble families who was a Spadian citizen, over the course of the month following their king's death and Arthur hated it because his work was double what it normally was because he and the Jack had to fill in for the King in the meantime. In retrospect, he probably shouldn't have complained seeing as he wasn't the only one _suffering_ under the extra workload. The Jack of Spades and Head of the House of Yangtze, Yao, actually had to do more than most Jacks under these kind of circumstances because not only did he have his normal Jack duties to attend to as well as his half of the absent-King's work, but since he was the Elector of the Spadian Yangtze family, he also had to vote for who would become the next King of Spades. Arthur didn't envy the man at all and was rather glad that he was the Queen and not the Jack, which was proof enough that he'd never once held a noble title in his life… but that didn't mean he wasn't going to complain about his own workload to his wife. Granted, if he wanted any sympathy from the woman, he had to make sure not to drink because his Bess couldn't stand him when he got completely wasted; something to do with him being a whiney bitch and setting a bad example for Peter. But for all his moaning, he _really_ just prayed that everything would go smoothly.

God must hate him.

"What?! What do you mean, the votes were tied?!" a very angry Arthur demanded of the Jack of Spades.

"Exactly what I just said, you half-wit!" Yao yelled back at him, but at least he had a more legit excuse, unlike Arthur; this past month had been a living Hell for him with his duties tripled simply because the King had to go and kick the bucket. "The votes were evenly-split, which means it's up to _you_ to pick who's going to be the next King!"

"But this…! This just doesn't happen!" Arthur protested vehemently.

"It _does_ happen or else there wouldn't have been a provision for it described in the duties of the Queen," Yao retorted as he shoved a copy of _The Queen's Book_ into his hands with a look that said he felt that in Arthur's case, it'd be more appropriately called _The Idiot's Guide to Being a Good Queen_, and strode away, probably to catch up on his lack of sleep from the past month.

Arthur glared at the book's golden-printed title for a long moment as if it had personally-offended him before he opened the book to the chapter on the formation of a new Tripartite, flipping to the section regarding the Queen's responsibilities when the Tripartite had lost their king. And right there, written in bold italic lettering, almost as if it was glaring _back_ at him, he saw the following words written for the last paragraph under the voting procedure:

"_**In the rare event that the Electors are evenly split between more than two candidates for Kingship, it behooves the Queen to ask all candidates involved if they still wish to continue to pursue the office of King. If at least one declines, then the voting procedure is re-run for a week between the remaining candidates. In the case of the tie being between two individuals or if all participating members wish to continue, then it is the Queen's responsibility to choose who shall be the next King among all the candidates on the basis of merit alone, so that there is no bias towards individual temperaments and mannerisms or physical attraction."**_

As Arthur had previously pointed out, God must hate him. Of course it would be during _his_ reign as Queen that the Electors had to come to a sharply-defined split over who they wanted as King. It was times like this when he really hated the aristocracy. Was it really so hard to come to even a _marginal_ agreement over who should be placed upon the throne? Now because of those pricks, it was his bloody responsibility to pick the next King. Arthur let out a sigh and closed his eyes, forcing himself to calm down. Well, it really couldn't be helped at this point. The Electors had decided, so there was nothing to be done now, but carry on and do his best for the Kingdom, as he'd always done. He didn't even know how many candidates the Electors were divided over; perhaps it was three and one or two of them would quit. It was a lovely thought to entertain, but again, it was sadly unlikely with the way things had been going as of late. _"Keep calm, carry on"_; that was his motto, even if he didn't actually follow it a good bit of the time.

Arthur retreated to his office space and was not surprised to see the blue folder with the Royal Spade emblem emblazoned upon the front. He presumed that Yao had left it there for him _before _he'd informed him that he had to pick the King. Resigned to the task, Arthur set himself down at the desk and opened the folder and found that there were only two portfolios present.

"Of course," he murmured to himself, somehow _knowing_ that would happen and picked up the first one.

The file didn't even have a name or what family the individual was from, which made sense if the whole point of this Queen-picks-the-King thing was to avoid bias. But File A was a description of a rather ambitious and worldly character. The person was an explorer and had served some time on the seas as a navigator for the Club Kingdom. He was also a fair hand at getting bargain deals for commodities, an expert salesman, and had even tutored a fair number of children of noble families across the Kingdoms. Arthur felt that this person had a pretty strong profile and was sincerely impressed, but reserved his judgment until he read File B.

At first glance, File B's profile seemed rather dull in comparison to File A's, and if Arthur didn't know better, he'd have thought that somebody switched a nobleman's profile for a commoner's. He'd only traveled to another kingdom one time in his life and his accomplishments were rather mundane in comparison. Oh sure, they were important, such as helping with the construction of a dam along the Mishampie River and building back the homes of those that'd been washed out in the flood two years ago, and even personally setting out in a wagon full of grain bought from the Diamond Kingdom at the end of the past summer to make sure that everyone had enough grain because their harvest had been so exceptionally poor last year. Yes, they were all important accomplishments, but they weren't nearly as exciting as those of File A's and Arthur was more than halfway ready to pen his signature onto the top of File A's.

His quill was poised just above the paper when he paused and retracted his hand slightly, thinking very fast. What was he doing? He wasn't picking his favorite book, he was picking the future _King of Spades_! He shouldn't be thinking about which one was more interesting, but which one was the most likely to be the greatest benefit to the kingdom! Arthur quickly set the quill back down and scanned through the two portfolios again. File A was still more intriguing and exotic than File B's, that hadn't changed, but… the accomplishments were mostly self-serving and the fact that he traveled much meant that even though he was a citizen of the Spade Kingdom, he didn't really know that much about what was going on at home. With the other one however; his accomplishments were almost-entirely altruistic and based largely upon his success in helping people out, even if it might have been at expense to himself because he couldn't imagine all that grain bought from the _Diamonds_ was cheap! Their prices were always so high, but unfortunately, the grain was always top quality and worth the price paid, which sucked because then he couldn't criticize the Diamond Kingdom for overpricing and be justified in his claim. But this kid – he was almost _sure_ this was a kid – definitely wasn't clueless about the hardships in the kingdom and seemed to be doing whatever he could to ameliorate them as well. Arthur had to admit that it was… quite admirable. That somebody so genuinely good and well-meaning actually existed in the world was just… well, really, it made even a born cynic like Arthur have a little more faith in the future and humanity.

Without another moment's hesitation, he penned his signature in the standard royal blue ink of the Spades at the top of File B.

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_Man, I __**love**__ writing Britain; I should do so more often! He's such a hypocritical prick and that's just the way I like him! Also, I decided that for this AU, yes, there will be historical people showing up, because frankly, the four kingdoms have to be composed of more people than there are countries available (that have a character design), so the Elizabeth that I'm having be Britain's wife is none other than Queen Elizabeth I. (What? She claimed she was married to England. You don't __**get**__ more canon than that!)_

_I based the system of choosing the Card Kings upon the way that the Holy Roman Emperors were voted (lol, I even called the ones with the authority to vote 'Electors' :P) Eh, this little tidbit isn't really all that important, but the person that tied with America for King of Spades was Portugal (which I'm running with as being a guy and Spain's older brother, so yeah)._

_Lol, I fail. This chapter is about the Kings come into power and yet the actual chosen King of Spades doesn't even show up in this chapter. I was originally going to, but then once I wrote down that last sentence, it just felt like such a good closure and anything added on to that would just be dragging, so yeah. Also, I hope I was able to get it across at least a little bit, but America isn't his normal, modernly-obnoxious self yet. Right now, America's more along the lines of how he was in his colonial days (which is admittedly my favorite kind of America before he became a pain in the ass). Unfortunately, I don't think America will keep that personality after his Kingship even in my take on the Cardverse, no matter how much I want it to, because he at least had some sense of humbleness to him back then. T_T_


	3. Queen of Diamonds

**Aha! My hurdle with the next chapter is finally overcome! (Why you be so difficult!) I will be uploading it tomorrow morning (and will actually have the _time_ to as well since I'm not going anywhere until 4 something in the afternoon (yay me).**

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**Queen of Diamonds**

"It's only a matter of time now, old friend."

Basch only shrugged his shoulders in agreement with his King. "It's only been a matter of time for quite a while now ever since the candidates were brought to the capital."

"Oues, my favorite Jack, but it's down to mere minutes now," King Francis said with a careless slip into his native North-Central dialect where the Y's were often pronounced more like a blend of an 'o' and a 'u' (which sounded similar to a 'w'). He also seemed keen to pronounce words ending in '-er' with a 'u' thrown in between so that a word like 'matter' ended up sounding like 'matteur'.

It was a habit that Basch had been forcing him to break that had so far proved largely successful. At least he was completely intelligible now, whereas before, it was rather like he was speaking another language. Basch didn't think it'd be fair to say that he didn't like the dialect, because it wasn't true – in fact, he found it rather *ahem* pretty to listen to – but it wasn't useful if nobody could understand him. That, and he didn't want the King's son, Matthew, to pick up too much of the heavy accent and have the _same_ problem with unintelligibility whilst speaking.

"Just you wait, my Basch, any second now, our precious little flower will waltz straight through those doors and faint straight into my waiting arms at the mere sight of my flawless beauty."

"What makes you think that the Queen is going to be a girl this time? And has anyone ever told you how vain you are?" Basch asked him, more than used to his friend's behavior.

"Because I just _know _these things, Basch. And of course someone's told me about my vanity! He's the same person that I am always telling to stop being such a stick in the mud!" Francis beamed and threw a wink at him, completely unperturbed by the Jack's sulky-like mannerisms. Again, this was normal for the two of them.

"Geez, the way you act sometimes, it's like you're not even married, much less have a son that's eight. Does your wife know you act this way when she's not around; always flirting with other women… and men?"

"How cruel you are, Basch!" Francis exclaimed and recoiled away from the Jack, but this was more for dramatic effect than for any true negative reaction. "I have never hidden anything about myself from my dear Jeanne, and my heart, my true love, belongs entirely to her. However, there are many men and women in the world yet who have never felt the fiery passion of love, can you imagine! I am the Sun King of the Diamonds whose prosperous land has garnered the reputation as the Kingdom of Eternal Sun, and it is my duty to bring the light of love to as many poor souls as possible!" For Basch, it sounded _way_ too romantic a way to describe what was, in short, Francis's promiscuousness. "Even _you_ have benefitted from my teachings, have you not, Basch? Or has it been too long and you've forgotten those lovely evenings we shared?"

"Ah! NoIhaven't," Basch said quickly as he looked away from Francis and a bright red blush worthy of a Heart suffused his face. He was _not_ about to forget those particular nights any time soon. "Just… don't scare off the poor Queen. You're a very exhausting person to be around even for a nobleman like me who's had to deal with you even before you came into office – before _I _came into office! – but you've never had to deal with one of your own of the Diamond Tripartite being new before, and especially not a Queen. You know what all those people were like; especially since you helped me to choose the potential Queens as per your royal duties as King, and they've never held a title to anything in their lives. Many of them are just trying to earn a living and make a place for themselves somewhere in the world. A peasant or a bourgeois that is chosen by the citizens to keep their interests at heart will not only have to adjust to court life, but maintain an entirely different frame of mind about how to go about their lives. And somebody like that is going to be completely overwhelmed by you because you're such a formidable force of nature."

"Why Basch! Was that a compliment at the end, there?" Francis asked slyly.

"No, it was a warning. I don't want to end up spending most of my time guarding the Queen from you and having her try and cling to me when I have things to do simply because her first impression of you has been a traumatizing one."

"Aha! Even _you_ want the next Queen to be a woman, you naughty rogue, you," Francis piped up and made an almost brotherly-tsking sound. Like _he_ was one to talk!

"It's not that at all," Basch denied with a scowl, tempted to smack the King in the head with his stick, and it was the truth. "I'm just used to thinking of the Queen as a woman because our last Queen was a woman."

"Ah, our serene lady, Queen Baltia; I fear I shall miss her terribly," Francis sighed with a fond look of reminiscence upon his face.

Basch snorted in amusement, "The second woman to charm you before you got the chance."

"Indeed! Whoever's said before that older women are dull could not have been more wrong! She was as full of sly wit and fiery spirit the likes of which I've only ever seen to such degree in the Lady Lyon Gaul of the House of Massalia, my mother. That wicked poker-player older sister of mine's got that kind of spirit too, I suppose," he added with a slight shudder.

"Still won't play against Mona anymore?" Basch asked rhetorically, taking a sort-of perverse pleasure in seeing the energetic King _still _unsettled by that one instance, even though it _was_ quite the embarrassing affair, mostly because Jeanne had chosen _such_ a bad time to come over to visit with the youngest Antiquity sister, Francia (and really, it was amazing that Mona's and Francis's little sister wasn't somehow mentally-scarred by that event).

The sounds of many footsteps echoed off the palace floor, coming closer to the large and luxurious reception room where he and the King sat in waiting and they simultaneously dropped their conversation, standing up and looking respectable, not lazy and bored like they had earlier. As expected, the announcer, a man by the name of Renaud (pronounce: Ren-OH) Picardy was the first to enter the open right half of the doorway and he bowed before them as per the traditional rites.

"Your Majesties, presenting the new Queen of Diamonds of the Diamond Tripartite, the Lady Elise Vogel."

Without further flair or presentation, the brunette reached behind the closed left door and gently drew a tiny girl out from hiding. If it had been anyone but Mr. Picardy, then Basch would have believed this was some kind of messed-up joke, but Mr. Picardy wasn't that type of man. This was their legit new Queen, this _waif_ of a girl who looked no more than ten years old, maybe (she _easily_ could have been younger though; she wasn't much taller than Matthew). He realized that he'd said that the Queens had never had a title to their name (the current Queen of Hearts just barely passing that prerequisite with his mother having been disowned and disinherited from the House of Yangtze for choosing to marry a man of no noble stature; his mother had told him it'd been quite the scandal in determining Kiku's legitimacy for Queenship), but this child looked to not even have a _penny_ to call her own! She was the perfect picture of poverty, from the frayed and patchy blue dress and stained apron, to the too-small leather shoes filled with holes, and the dirty blond hair held back into two roughly-done braids that looked like they hadn't been taken out and redone in months at least. Worst of all, he knew _he_ had _never_ seen the girl before and certainly would _never_ have picked her as a potential candidate for _Queen_. Which could only mean-!

"Elise!" Francis said enthusiastically to the little girl, and it took all of Basch's willpower not to even so much as _glare_ at the king, much less murder him via the most painful way possible. "My dear child, do you remember me?"

Elise gave a shy smile and a quick nod. "Jas, King Francis, I remember you," she admitted quietly and her voice was so high-pitched and melodic like that of a songbird, "You gave me food when you found me and asked me if I wanted to become the Queen of Diamonds because you were looking for someone because the other Queen died."

"That's right, I did," Francis agreed as he knelt down before her, his blue eyes twinkling with that paternal 'big brother' aura that he liked to use so often when talking to people younger than him, including Basch. "You came and you succeeded, just like I knew you would, remember?"

"That's right, you did, your Majesty!" she exclaimed, her blue-green eyes brightening up like what Francis had said was the most exciting thing in the world. "But how did you know that?"

"Big Brother knows _many_ things little songbird," Francis said mysteriously, "But that's Big Brother's secret for other days, my Queen. Because we are equals now, you no longer have to call me 'Your Majesty'. From now on, you may call me Francis or Big Brother. Either is perfectly fine with me."

"Oh, no! I couldn't!" Elise protested, "I couldn't call you something so informal as that, Your Majesty! It wouldn't be right!"

Basch saw that Francis was slightly taken aback by her sudden outburst before he recovered his grandiose form and said, "Very well then little songbird. Please at least call me King Francis if you insist on the formality, my dear. And in return, whenever we discuss matters of the kingdom, I shall call you Queen Elise, but when it is just conversation between us, may I call you Elise, little songbird?"

"Ah, jas. That would be fine, Your Ma- Ah, I mean King Francis," Elise agreed with another shy smile at her use of the King's name, still clearly not comfortable with even that much informality, but willing to do her best for the compromise she'd agreed to. Basch's green eyes narrowed slightly, perplexed. He didn't catch it the first time, but now he realized that she had the same accent as his father and also Roderich the rare times his older half-brother wasn't concerned with appearances (those moments were very few and far between though). That was a Spadian accent, and though the Spade Kingdom was only to the west of them, how did a little girl with a Northwestern Spadian accent like her, one who didn't travel because she couldn't, end up in the Kingdom of Diamonds and long enough to become a citizen even?

"Splendid!" Francis said with delight and glanced back at him with an amused smile (that he would wipe off his stupid face as soon as he got the chance) and gestured towards him. "And that silent, gloomy-looking gnome over there is the third member of the Diamond Tripartite, Jack Basch. I know he looks very scary and intimidating, but don't be frightened, Elise, he's the best soldier the kingdom has and he's very good at his job. Even if you weren't the Queen of Diamonds, he wouldn't even dare think of harming you; it's just not in his character, little songbird."

He saw what Francis was doing there, trying to suck up to him and pacify his anger; well he was onto him and he wouldn't let him get away with it. But at least the new Queen had done nothing wrong for him to be anything less than respectful to her. Basch bowed his head slightly and said rather stiffly, "A pleasure to meet you, my Queen. I hope we'll be able to work well together in the years to come."

"Ah, j-jas, I do too, my Jack," Elise responded with a rough approximation of a curtsey.

"Wonderful manners, little songbird!" Francis praised and beamed at her, clapping one brotherly hand upon her shoulder. "Now that we've all been introduced, it's time for the coronation ceremony so that you can become the official Queen of Diamonds, alright Elise? Now follow Mr. Picardy, he will take you to my wife and my older sister and they will get you all bathed and dressed and tell you what you have to do in the ceremony, alright? There's a good girl."

Mr. Picardy took a gentle hold of the girl's hand – her fingers were so tiny! – and led her out of the reception room to be taken to the royal quarters of the members of the House of Antiquity. And only when she was safely gone did Basch round on Francis. "_You!_" he spat with such venom in his voice that he might have killed Francis had he been a venomous snake that had bitten him. "What were you _thinking_?! I knew you were always somewhat depraved, but this is a new low, even for you!"

"And you have such little faith in me to think that I _would_ sink that low?" Francis demanded, all the dramatic pretenses from earlier gone; he was dead serious now. "Have a care, Basch. Even I in all my sexual liberty know what boundaries cannot and _should_ _not_ be crossed. You saw how she was just now, well she was doubly-worse when I first found her; an orphaned Spadian-accented child simply wasting away with not a heart around to care whether she lived or died; do you really think I could have just abandoned her after passing by such a poor creature? No, Basch, I couldn't and neither would you if you had been there. Taking her back here to the capital with me under the pretense of having found another potential Queen for the Kingdom was the only thing I could do to make sure she lived."

"The _only_ thing!" Basch barked harshly, "You're the King of Diamonds and you aren't new into your reign and uncertain about your privileges and powers. You could have brought her back to the capital simply because you _wanted_ to, and since she was a starving orphan, nobody would have stopped you, especially not me when our Kingdom is prospering so well. You'd have been well within your right to bring the girl here and raise her until she was back to a healthy weight and then find a family that'd be willing to adopt her. You didn't have to throw her into the mix of Queen candidates just to get her here!"

"She'd lost hope in everything, Basch, even living; I had to give her a future to set her eyes on."

"Yeah, well starving to death kinda does that to people, but you didn't have to promise her the Queen's crown of all things! She's just a kid, an orphaned peasant's kid even! How old is she even?! Ten?!"

"Twelve actually."

"Whatever! She'd have kissed the ground you walked on if you'd promised her food and a family to care for her; you didn't need to offer her something so grandiose!"

"I could hardly have promised her the Diamond Queen's crown if the people hadn't chosen her," Francis retorted.

"Not for lack of trying," Basch said with an irritated snort and jabbed his walking stick (that he more often than not ended up using as a weapon, like now) into the King's chest. "And don't even _try_ and tell me that you couldn't control the situation. You knew from the very beginning that the people would become bleeding hearts for the poor, starving, orphaned peasant girl in comparison to the other more moderately well-off competitors she was surrounded by, or else you would never have even made that promise to her in the first place. I know how your brain works, and unlike your older sister, you don't make gambles that you don't know if you can win; not unless you know how to tip the situation in your favor."

Francis narrowed his eyes at him and crossed his arms over his chest with a sigh of disappointment. "You know, for a zealous humanitarian that goes out of his way to ride through the entire country in the summer on horseback to make sure that everyone's protected against the Detritus virus that strikes in early fall, I'd have imagined you would be more sympathetic to this poor girl's plight."

"It's not the _girl_ and her pitiful circumstances that I have a problem with," Basch growled, "It's the idiot who put her on the throne as Queen of the entire Diamond Kingdom that I'm angry with! Can you even _conceive_ of what you've done by setting up this child like that?! When I seek out potential Queens from the common population, I look for two things, Francis. Two things! Hard workers; I won't tolerate any slacking in a queen. And experience; if a person has lived an isolated and bigoted life, then they are apt to be stubborn, difficult to deal with, and closed-minded which all result in nothing getting done and the Kingdom suffering for it until the citizens are so riled and malcontent that the Queen must be deposed and another one chosen in their place, but rather in an atmosphere of turmoil, mistrust, and non-cooperative behavior that will only further threaten the division of the Kingdom. People who have experienced many aspects of life and recovered from the more difficult ones at least maintain _some_ level of awareness beyond their own lives and are generally more accepting of others viewpoints and circumstances."

Basch paused for a proper breath of fresh air before he would continue. He'd never told anyone before, not even his mother, the previous Jack of Diamonds, exactly what his criteria would entail when he searched the Kingdom for potential Queens should he need to after he succeeded her as the Jack of Diamonds. Sure _The Jack's Book_ gave some examples of what were considered to be good qualities in a Queen, but Basch only found them useful to a point. A proper, well-educated Jack should know what kind of qualities the best type of Queen should have for the Kingdom. The Queens were generally considered to represent the will of the people in the Tripartites, which probably made the Queen the most important member of the Tripartite, even moreso than the King. The King may have been the representative figurehead of the Kingdom and the absolute highest government authority in some matters, but it was the Queen who represented the people's will and without the people who composed of the nation, there was no Kingdom for the Kings to rule or the Jacks to maintain. Simple logic really.

"I have nothing against Elise," Basch started off, feeling that he had to clarify that for what he was _about_ to say. "But she's a child and though she's apparently been through things that no child should ever have to endure, she has not lived her life yet. She's still in the process of figuring out who she is and what she will become. A child being raised in the royal palace for the second half of life just _won't _be able to connect with the people working in the fields or the woods or the rivers as well as somebody who had grown-up in and survived the natural hazards of their occupations and their lives in those kinds of environments, and it will become all too plainly-obvious when Elise gets older that she will have more the mentality of an aristocrat than a peasant or even a bourgeois or master craftsman. And growing up here, she will never participate in the invigorating hard work that I find necessary in building a healthy, productive mind. Our Queen is doomed to be deposed and removed from office early, Francis; that's what you've setup for the Kingdom of Diamonds."

To his consternation, Francis outright laughed! Laughed aloud when there was nothing funny at all to be had in this situation! "Oh, my _dear_ Basch!" Francis exclaimed once he'd finally calmed down enough to be able to talk, "I always joke about how you're a stick lodged deep in the mud, but I never knew that you were such a strong pessimist as well!"

"Is there any reason why I _shouldn't_ be?" Basch asked, his tone still bitter even though he wasn't growling anymore.

"You know exactly what you want in a Diamond Queen, oues?"

"Don't you slip into that dialect on me right now," Basch said bitterly.

"Alright then, Mr. Sulky Face; you know exactly what you want in a Diamond Queen, _yes_?"

"… Yes. And Elise is not that."

"Can you at least let me finish where I'm trying to go with this before you continue to chew me out, my stubborn Jack?" Francis asked in exasperation. He took Basch's silence as a form of consent and continued on, "Elise is still just a child, yes?"

"Exactly."

"Well then, what's the problem?" Francis said with a smile and opened his arms wide like he always did when greeting his wife, mother, sisters, friends, and lovers, "You have a grateful young mind just waiting to be shaped by experience; you couldn't have asked for a better candidate, my friend."

"Huh, what? What are you talking about?" Basch asked suddenly and frowned, not understanding what Francis was implying, _knowing_ that he'd missed something important.

"You have all your criteria for what's desirable in the Queen of our Kingdom and a child Queen not so young that she needs a parent's strict discipline and not so old that she hasn't yet begun to form a concrete idea of how the world works around her. She's a child eager to do her best for those who saved her life, and just because she's the Queen doesn't mean she has to live here all the time. So she can still learn the importance of a good work ethic and the hardships of the average citizen beyond the crippling poverty and famine that she's suffered. With diligence, determination, careful planning, and perhaps some luck, we can raise her into becoming the perfect Queen of Diamonds."

Basch stood staring at Francis in shock, completely dumbstruck. "The perf- is that even possible? Could we _really_ create the _perfect_ Queen?" he asked finally, his natural skepticism showing through.

"Of course not, silly Basch!" Francis said with a slight laugh and clapped a friendly hand on his shoulder, "Nothing is perfect, but we can certainly aim for it, and close-to-perfect is still a huge success if we can manage to obtain it, don't you think?"

"Um… yeah, that is," Basch agreed, still feeling very much overwhelmed.

"That's the spirit! Now for the moment, I bid you adieu," Francis said as he stepped back and gave a bow to the Jack, "I shall be speaking to Mr. Champagne (which he pronounced like 'Misteur' much to Basch's annoyance; he knew when Francis did it just to spite him) about how the preparations for the coronation are coming along and assist where I may. That's where I shall be if you find you have need of me before the ceremony."

When Francis had gone, Basch slumped back down into the chair that he had abandoned when Elise had come in, and he stared blankly at the floor, still dumbfounded over what Francis had just proposed; that they actually _train_ her into being the Queen that they needed. It wouldn't be easy, no, but it _would_ be manageable, and she really was at the right age to be able to attempt that too, just like Francis sa- Basch paused and jerked his eyes over to the open doorway where Francis had just walked through minutes ago. No way! That's wasn't-! No, it was impossible! He'd told nobody of his criteria before today, so he couldn't have-! But was there-? How could he have known or did he just make a good guess? But no, that didn't make any sense; it'd have been far too complex a scheme to pull it off! Francis couldn't possibly have _planned_ for a girl like Elise to become the next Queen of Diamonds... could he?

* * *

_Oh France, you cunning devil, you. ;)_

_Oh my God, Liechtenstein is so cute when she's that tiny and with her braids and ADFJGOHWSJLFCUTE! ! ! ! I had a great difficulty getting through this chapter because of her and her cuteness, but lol, even __**I**__ haven't figured out exactly what her back-story is yet. I have some ideas of what (and who) I want it to entail, but I don't have anything solidified yet. But anyways, this is how the Queens are chosen._

_Um, okay, yeah, the entire reason that the whole dialects thing started at **all **was because of France. Do you KNOW how hard it is for me to NOT have France say something in French?! I CAN'T HANDLE IT! ! ! ! DX_

_And of course, if I'm going to have Britain married to Elizabeth I in Cardverse, I think it's only logical that I have France married to Jeanne, yes? (and no, I'm not planning on letting Jeanne die anytime soon) This chapter is another example of what I was saying about some relationships not being the same because clearly America and Canada are not brothers in this universe (but it was so freaking perfect that Canada was already listed as a Diamond! XD). Also, um, yes, I'm finally admitting it for the first time ever I think. I do ship me some FraSwiss somewhat and it just… felt okay to imply it here, especially given that it's France. I also wanted to show, or at least imply, that even though France is promiscuous, it doesn't bother Jeanne at all because she knows he truly loves her, and I wanted her to have this mentality because in France, it's not really a big deal like it is here in the US if a man or a woman has an extramarital affair._

_Kudos to anyone who recognized the 'Sun King' reference from French history._

_There are also some family headcanons of mine going on here. France's mother is Gaul (I think a lot of people agree on that one though), and I implied that with the Gallia, but I don't know how many people would know that Gallia is the same as Gaul just Latinized (and Massalia is the old name for the current city of Marseille; it's very old). Monaco is France's older sister (I read something related to Gaul being defeated by Rome and that was around the time that 'Monoecus' [Monaco] came into existence, so I'm sticking to that) and the Francia mentioned here is an ode to when the Frankish Empire was split into West Francia (which would become France) and East Francia which eventually led into the formation of the Holy Roman Empire and so enters my headcanon that East Francia is HRE's/Germany's mother (you people can blame Patrick Seitz for saying "That was my mother's cup, you fool!" on the Hetalia WS bloopers for the English dub, because that's literally what started my researching on potential family lineages)._


	4. Jack of Hearts

**Jack of Hearts**

"Y-You're retiring?"

"Sadly, I am, Ludwig," the buff, dark-haired (barely graying, he might add) man said with a sigh of regret. "It's funny. I always thought that I would leave the position as Jack of Hearts through the glory of battle and the honor of dying to defend the Kingdom, rather than peacefully stepping aside to live out the rest of my days in a state of purposeless do-nothing."

"B-But you don't have to retire, Jack Rome!" Ludwig protested, feeling himself on the precipice of some kind of panic that he hadn't experienced in years, "You're not required to leave the office, you can stay and still continue to be useful to the Kingdom-!"

Rome interrupted him with a definite shake of his head. "No, my young King. The disaster on our southern border near Dresden was what opened my eyes. Despite my still-youthful and lady-killer appearance, I'm just not as spry as I used to be. It wouldn't have happened when I was younger. You know I'm quite old despite my looks; I do have five grandsons after all," Rome pointed out and his copper eyes twinkled merrily very much like Francis's often did.

Ludwig's face flushed and his brow furrowed in embarrassment at being reminded again that the Jack of Hearts was his grandfather through his mother's line. Save for his mother, he hadn't ever been particularly close to his Diamond-blooded family, rather associating more closely with his father's Spadian half of the family.

"Yes, I know that Dresden was a mess, but… that was just the one time and you've been a superb Jack the rest of the time, as you've always been. Is one little incident really enough of a mark against your remarkable career record to cause your departure?" he asked.

He knew he was starting to sound desperate, but it was because he didn't want Rome to leave, and with good reason that had nothing to do with their familial connection. The Heart Kingdom was the most prone to invasion and as such, everyone who could defend the Kingdom was a valuable asset. They didn't have that many natural landscape defenses like the other kingdoms and the land wasn't as valuable as theirs either, most of it being swampland. Really, the only reason that the Hearts was attacked so much from the large southern border (at least Spade's Alpyren Mountains protected three-fourths of their western border) was because they stood right in the way of reaching the other three kingdoms, the true targets of the invading forces. Loosing someone as crucial and important as Rome, Ludwig was afraid to think of how quickly the Kingdom would fall without him around as the Jack, especially if any of those massive invasions like before, during Gilbert's reign as the King of Hearts, started back up again. In the few years he'd been King, he'd had to deal with a couple invasions, but he knew that these were small fry compared to the monsters his predecessor had faced.

"Ah, you're much too kind, my Rhineland grandson, and still very young yet," Rome said with a jovial laugh, "It's more the dishonor of the thing, but this old man knows when to quit while he's ahead. One little blunder now may eventually lead to an irreversible defeat later and doom all the Card Kingdoms. I would have retired earlier, but I wanted to make sure you knew everything that I could teach you about the art of combat before I left, so that the Kingdom would not suffer for my knowledge's absence. I'm afraid you gave me very little to do; your older brother had taught you well, you should be proud of him."

"I am. All the time," Ludwig said, a lightness spreading through his chest at the compliment paid towards his oldest brother.

It had been several years ago since Gilbert became a Joker and he'd succeeded him as King of Hearts, but even now, he still heard criticisms against his brother and his rule, and it always made him feel upset and self-conscious about his own decisions within the Tripartite. Many seemed to have forgotten all the improvements that Gilbert had done for the Heart Kingdom once he'd become a Joker. It was his brother who was responsible for the draining of a good portion of the uninhabitable swampland for farming, the reforms to the public education system which included the introduction of the merit system used in Spade to select the regular government ministers based upon academic knowledge rather than family rank and prestige, and also the investments in the various manufacturing industries around the kingdom to increase production efficiency in order to compete against the other three, more resource-wealthy kingdoms. His greatest achievement however was the way in which he revolutionized warfare with the rest of his Tripartite and how not once under his reign did any invading army even manage to cross their Kingdom's borders, despite their superior numbers.

These were the glorious triumphs of Gilbert's reign, and though the foreign invaders were held at bay, his brother had made many enemies among the nobles at home. Gilbert had no use for tact and hardly any patience for those who stood in the way of what was necessary for the efficiency of the Kingdom. The merit system and the redistribution of wealth were only a few of things that Gilbert had implemented that had angered many of the nobles. One of the many criticisms that he had heard even back then when his brother was King was how he'd squandered the royal treasury with all his expensive projects; a criticism that was only the result of uninformed individuals spouting out propaganda when they didn't have any data to back it up. It had scared him so much that he'd actually asked Queen Kiku about his brother's projects, which the man had shown him that though they had been expensive to start, the return outputs more than made up for the money invested into them. It had given him peace of mind in regards to the Kingdom's finances, but he'd been so worried about the politics that he'd actually confronted Gilbert about his tactics (or lack thereof):

"_Gilbert, why do you keep on doing things that anger the nobles?" Ludwig asked his older brother one evening, "It's not safe, and it's bound to come back and bite you soon."_

"_Aww, you lookin' out for your awesome older brother, Lutz?" Gilbert asked as he set down the book he'd been reading, a heavy volume titled _The Art of War_, and beckoned for him to come and sit on his lap._

_Ludwig obeyed, but stared fixedly at Gilbert, intending __**not**__ to be distracted until he had an answer._

"_When you become King, Ludwig, you realize that not everyone is gonna be happy with what you're doing. There's always somebody who's going to be pissed off at you and the more radical your actions are, even if it's for the greater good, the more resistant some people are going to be towards them, particularly if they don't benefit or if they view the consequences to have a negative impact on them. At times like that, it's better to simply roll right over them, do your own thing, and let the profits speak for themselves, even if nobody will ever give you credit for what you did to make things better."_

"_But that's not fair," Ludwig protested with a pout._

"_No, it's not Lutz, but it's a pretty sweet payout going into the villages and hearing people sing my praises because they no longer have to pay a fortune on import taxes for food, or actually having money from that new job they got at one of the mills. It's all just a matter of perspective, Lutz, and who it is you really care about making happy: the kiss-ass nobles or the hard-working everyday schmuck. You'll get to decide that for yourself when __**you**__ become King."_

_It never failed to amuse Ludwig that Gilbert was the only person he knew who could call someone a 'schmuck' and make it come out like a compliment. "But Gilbert, I can't be King; only the Jack can inherit the title from a family member. The King has to be chosen by the Electors."_

"_Hahahaha! That's right, Ludwig! You'll be so awesome that the Electors will vote for you anyways!"_

Ludwig had never imagined that the public opinion of Gilbert would decline so sharply once his brother became a Joker, but he supposed he underestimated the reputation of the Jokers. Even many of those who had benefitted from Gilbert's projects began to question his authenticity and if there had been shady dealings going on behind the scenes that no-one had ever suspected. Oh, there were still some that believed that Gilbert had been a genuinely good King with the needs of the masses in his heart at all times, but so many horrible rumors had spread about his older brother that those people were very few and they would never admit it for fear of persecution from their neighbors. What hurt the most about all this was the fact that all the good he'd done for the Kingdom was either completely overshadowed or brushed aside as a small act of goodness to distract away from the bigger, more sinister schemes of the Joker King.

"You alright there, Ludwig?" Rome asked, a look of concern on his dark-complexioned face.

"Ah, I'm sorry, Rome. I was just thinking about Gilbert," Ludwig said quickly, attempting to compose himself again.

Rome gave an understanding smile. "I know. Perhaps in a few hundred years after we're long dead and gone, some historian will be digging through the history of the Heart Kings and his contributions to the Kingdom will be remembered. For the meantime though, Kiku and I will help remember your brother's legacy. But now back to retirement!" and just like that, the serious moment was over. "Since I'm a Jack, you don't have to worry about any kind of voting process, since my Ace will just inherit the title of Jack once I've left, so there won't be any government stand-still like there is when we need a new King or Queen. Come along this way and I can introduce you two 'officially' before we commence with the Jack Rites and his induction into the Tripartite with the coronation ceremony. You've met my Ace of Hearts, yes?"

"Um, I think so," Ludwig said uncertainly, "One of your other grandsons of the Messina family line, wasn't it? He wasn't the one that kept cursing me out, was he?" he asked, suddenly desperately hoping that it _wasn't_ that foul-mouthed grandson who hated him on sight for seemingly no reason.

"Ahaha, nonono, Lovino's not my Ace," Rome said with a hearty laugh, "It's his younger brother, Feliciano, that's my Ace. He's the one with auburn hair that says 'Ve' and has his eyes closed most of the time."

Ludwig wanted to ask how it was even possible for him to see if his eyes were closed, but decided that it wasn't really a question worth asking, deciding instead to claw his way through his memory and see if he knew anybody that matched that description. "Feliciano… Feliciano… Felici- Wait, a minute!" Ludwig's light blue eyes suddenly widened in horror as he stared at his Diamond-born grandfather, "Feliciano's not the one who complains about always starving even when good food's available, and makes white flags when he's not running a million miles an hour in retreat from the enemy, is he? ! ? ! ? !"

To Ludwig's absolute _horror_, Rome laughed again and said, "Yup, that's my little Feli! I suppose he can be a handful sometimes, and he _really_ loves art, cooking, and music, but he's got a sassy wild side to him that he inherited from his mother when he's really pushed into action. I think he will be a good Jack for the new Tripartite once I've gone."

As the Jack and King of Hearts walked down the corridor together, Ludwig's brain was working furiously to think of a way to tell the Jack that he did _not_ think that Rome had chosen the best possible Ace (which was the title given to the future Jack, like the Prince title given to the heirs of the Kingdoms when they were ruled by only one monarch in ancient times) that he could have for the Kingdom without being too blunt. Apart from his two other eligible grandsons, the man _still_ had eight other _children_ that were just as qualified to be granted the title of Ace, for there was no stipulation of the Ace having to be a citizen of the Kingdom they would be serving like there was for the Kings and Queens.

"Rome, I, that is…" Ludwig started awkwardly, and it didn't help that he knew every step he took brought him closer to the future Jack, "You know better than most how difficult it is to be a member of the Tripartite and of the Heart Kingdom no less, the most frequently-invaded Kingdom of all the Cards. I'm not sure that your Ace would be able to handle that kind of work."

Rome only gave him a grandfatherly smile in response (he swore Francis must have picked up that same smile from him!) "You'll have to make necessary adjustments to your individual duties within the Tripartite once you have your first session, so you and Kiku will undoubtedly both become more responsible for the war aspects of the Tripartite's powers. Your Tripartite will be different from the one you shared with me and even from the one I shared with your brother, but don't discount Feliciano's fighting abilities just yet. Remember, I said he has a sassy, wild side that comes in to play, and when it comes to invasions from the sea- Ohoho! You'll want that kind of personality! In naval battles, Feliciano's a vicious little demon on the high seas with a skill level on par with those of any Club sailor I've ever seen."

Despite the man's tendency to brag about his own military prowess and accomplishments, much like Gilbert actually except with less frequent use of the word 'awesome', he was never anything but honest when making an evaluation of other peoples' fighting capabilities because he had that kind of mind that allowed him to sort through all that information and put everyone in the position where they would do the most good, so he couldn't really doubt Rome's vouchsafe for Feliciano. Still… it didn't feel right agreeing that this was a good idea when the first memory he had of the man was of him crying hysterically after being pulled out of an empty box in the kitchen, by Ludwig no less, and apologizing at the top of his lungs for claiming to be a Box of Tomatoes Fairy. Needless to say, it was not a very reassuring image.

"Ah, there he is, out in the courtyard painting! Feliciano!"

And it was too late to turn back now.

The auburn-haired young man sitting out there in the afternoon sunlight turned at the sound of his name and gave a wide, ridiculously happy (almost to the point of looking high) smile while waving wildly with one hand. "Grandpa Rome! King Ludwig! You're both here; that's perfect! I just finished this painting! Come and see! Come and see!"

This was him. His soon-to-be Jack. Feeling more than a little resigned to the situation, Ludwig followed after Rome to join the Ace of Hearts.

"Oh, that's magnificent Feliciano!" Rome gushed as soon as he saw the painting after having run over to hug his second oldest grandson, though Ludwig didn't know what it was of yet. "The lighting and the shadows are so realistic and I love the light brush strokes across the canvas here, and the many color differences in the folds of that little girl's dress and that boy's cloak; it really leaves the most profound impression of a gentle summer's breeze whistling through the fields. Feli, I think this one may be your best yet!"

"Ve! You really think so Grandpa Rome?!" Feliciano asked excitedly and then turned to Ludwig with that same smile. "What do you think of my painting, King Ludwig? Any thoughts?"

Ludwig stood next to Rome to peer at the painting and his eyes widened in surprise. The painting was impressive! The style Feliciano was using was that new one that had started in Diamonds (surprise, surprise) when he was just a kid, Impressionism was what it was called if he remembered correctly, and though many conservatives among all four Kingdoms had disregarded it and criticized it as being half-formed muddled nonsense, Ludwig had always liked the Impressionist art style. He often found that it had a warmer, more familiar and friendly feel to it than the more rigid traditional art style. But it wasn't only the application of the Impressionist style that Ludwig found so admirable, the painting's content was also astounding. A gust of wind blew past a little blond boy dressed in black who was holding his hand out to a little red-headed girl dressed in green on a grassy hill under the early afternoon summer's sun.

"It's beautiful, Feliciano!" Ludwig breathed, and he truly meant it too. "Where did you even get the idea to paint this? Does this painting have a name yet?"

"I… I have some ideas, but I can't decide between whether I want to call it _First Love _or _Sweethearts_," Feliciano said, his voice sounding softer and quieter than before and his cheeks were a little red (probably from being out in the strong afternoon sun too long). "I actually got the idea to paint this from a story that my Mama used to read to me all the time when I was a kid. It's called _The Princess's Promise_; have you ever heard of it?"

"No, I haven't. I wasn't... ever really that big into fairy tales," Ludwig said, though the blush on his cheeks betrayed him somewhat about how true that second sentence was.

"Oh, that's too bad. It was my favorite story, though it's kinda sad. It's about a prince who asked the girl he loved, who was a princess from a different kingdom, if she would marry him and they would unite the two kingdoms as one to become a great empire. But the princess declined his offer because her grandfather had been the ruler of a mighty empire that had become too big and one of the wars to protect it had killed him. She was scared that the boy would be killed in a war like her grandfather was if he tried to recreate his empire. But sadly, it wasn't long before the kingdom found itself at war with some of its neighbors. He returned to his beloved's kingdom to give her his final goodbyes in case he should die in the war and never see her again, but before he left, she confessed her love for him and he confessed his too, and they shared their first kiss. He then had to leave for the war and she promised that she would wait for him, no matter how long it took. But when the war ended, her prince did not come back. He had disappeared sometime during the war and nobody knew what had happened to him, if he was even dead or alive. Over time, most people forgot about the lost prince, but not his princess who'd promised she'd wait for him, and wait she did. She waited and she waited. She waited her entire life for him, faithful to her first love until the very end. The story ends there, but Mama always used to say that after she died, she couldn't bear to go to the Afterlife without knowing if her beloved was there, so she wandered the land searching and waiting for her lost prince, hoping to reunite with him."

"That's… a really sad story…" Ludwig said at last, genuinely shocked that he had never heard of this fairy tale before and wondered if his own mother had even known about. What did Feliciano say it was called again? _The Princess's Promise_?

"Um-hm, but even if the princess is still searching for her prince after all this time, she's not bitter. Mama believes in the princess very much and says that such a person as her can never hate or begrudge those who've found love. I think Mama's right."

"Ah, your Mama always did like it when I read her that story as a young girl, Feliciano," Rome said tearily, "Such a beautiful story."

"Feliciano," Ludwig said to get the artist's attention and cleared his throat, "About the painting's name; may I suggest you choose _First Love _for it?"

"Oh? Yes, I can call it that, but why?" Feliciano asked innocently and then his face broke out into yet another wide smile, apparently the more permanent expression on his face. "Why do you like the idea of _First Love_ better than _Sweethearts_, King Ludwig?"

"Well, because… I just think that _First Love_ has a more noble ring to it. _Sweethearts_ is a nice title, but even a married couple can still be called sweethearts, whereas _First Love _implies an innocence and enduring faithfulness, giving it a more timeless quality."

"You're right! It does! Alright, it's decided! I shall call this piece _First Love_! Thank you King Ludwig! That decision had been bothering me for a while now."

"Wonderful!" Rome said so loudly and so suddenly that Ludwig nearly jumped out of his skin in shock. Rome was so unusually quiet that he'd completely forgotten he was standing right there! "And guess what, Feli? Today's the day! Grandpa Rome's going to retire now and you'll become the next Jack of Hearts!"

"Ve! Really? Really? It's today! Right then, General! As soon as I get everything put away, I'll be ready for the Jack Rites and my induction into the Heart Tripartite!" Feliciano said with a zealous, snappy salute to the side of his forehead.

"Excellente! We'll be in the throne room waiting for you, Feli, so make haste."

"Yes, Grandpa Rome!" Feliciano responded and was already packing up all his materials with such speed when they left the courtyard that Ludwig wondered how it was physically possible for him to move so fast.

"You got along pretty well with him, I see," Rome said first once the sunny courtyard was out of sight.

"Hm? Oh, yes well… he's definitely a born Diamond and hopefully his artistic influence will inspire more of such art from within the Hearts citizens. However, I must confess that I… still have some serious doubts as to how well the three of us will manage to work together to keep the Kingdom safe in war times."

Rome clapped him on the shoulder as they walked and squeezed it for extra reassurance while he talked; a smile ever fixed upon the patriarch's face. "You've a good head on your shoulders and you will be a brilliant King. I would not leave if I felt that the new Tripartite would be incompetent. You have been trained by both your brother and myself, two of the most brilliant war tacticians you could ever have as teachers. Feliciano will be your top-of-the-line strength in the naval battles and is very good about coming up with escape routes, spontaneously even, which can be used to make effective tactical retreats to more strategic locations. And you haven't yet had the opportunities to really see Queen Kiku's best weapon in action since we've only had a few minimal border skirmishes, but he is one of the best strategic minds I've ever met. His mind is his war machine and he has a certain degree of intuition about tactics the enemy is most likely to use and where they will strike; he is not often wrong. I have no doubt in my mind that the three of you will cooperate well together to govern and protect the Heart Kingdom. Would I lie to you, my King?"

"No, you wouldn't. It's just that… you have so much faith in me that I sometimes wonder if it's even deserved or not."

"Of course it is my Rhineland grandson!" Rome replied, the broad more cheeky Gilbert-like smile back on his face within a millisecond, "Because I mean every word I ever say ever! Well! Now that we've settled that and you're not gonna have a mental breakdown upon my departure, after today, it'll be just you young'uns in control (though I suppose I shouldn't be calling Kiku 'young'), but if you have desperate need of me, I'll still be around. I don't know where I'll settle down for my retirement, but I'll definitely be traveling around first, checking in on all my children and my other grandsons, and that sort of thing. Maybe I'll settle down in Spades and bother your old man Wilhelm while I'm there!"

Upon this last declaration, Ludwig felt a sudden horrible sense of dread spread through him that told him that if Rome _did _decide to live in Spades with his father, it would be the last time he ever saw his grandfather alive in one piece.

* * *

_Ah! Much better! The first time I wrote this chapter, I hated it, but I like it much better now! I was actually pretty good with the first half, but the second half needed a serious rework because Rome and Germany were just getting to be too OOC and repetitive (it needed Italy to liven things up! :D). ALSO, I GOT TO MENTION CHIBITALIA STUFF, SO POINTS FOR ME BECAUSE OMG, I DID NOT ORIGINALLY WRITE THAT IN THERE, BUT I'M GLAD I DID! ! ! XD Also, I believe… that this is my first time writing anything that may possibly be construed as the basis for shaping the growth of GerIta! :D I feel so proud of myself (because OH MY __**GOD**__, that ship is hard! AusHun [non-OOC AusHun even, as too rare as it is] is easy and natural, but GerIta, real non-OOC GerIta. Is. Freaking. __**Hard**__! O.O) because I wanted to do something with GerIta sometime for my best friend since it's one of her Hetalia OTPs! SO I HOPED I DID OKAY WITH THAT! ! !_

_Eh-heh, I ended up talking about Prussia a lot in this chapter, but my goal with that was to convey the similarity of relationship between the countries of Germany and Prussia (not the personifications) after WWII, because even though Prussia had done so many wonderful things for Germany (including freaking unification), in light of the then-recent events with the Nazis, those things were overlooked if not completely forgotten and ignored and only once time had distanced people from those events had it all been viewed more objectively, I believe (it seems that way to me, though I may be wrong)._

_Well, this chapter also takes care of the last of the Tripartite, and so the Jacks are the only members who inherit their position from their families. It's not discussed in this chapter because there was no way to mention it without it feeling out-of-place, but if you remember from previous chapters, women can inherit the position as well because both Roderich's and Basch's mothers were the Jacks of their Kingdoms. Also, to make it more clear, just in case, the Jack can choose __**any**__ family member to be their Ace, so it doesn't necessarily have to be the eldest child hence why Romano wasn't the Ace of Hearts (lol, can you imagine him and Germany being together in a Tripartite? :P)._

_I may be done with all the members of the Tripartites, but I've still got one more chapter left. Don't forget that I still have to explain how Sealand is a Joker too. :)_


	5. Crossroads

**Crossroads**

Gilbert didn't know how many years it had been since his banishment, but he didn't much care. He used to, when he was first sent here, but not anymore. There was no point to it for it only served as another reminder of the time he was losing, so he'd stopped before it drove him completely insane. Well, he supposed there wasn't much help for that anyway. For Gilbert who had been surrounded by a bunch of brothers and relatives for most of his life, banishment was the worst punishment possible and it was eating him alive from the inside. He hadn't before realized just how much he'd relied on people being there to listen to him, even if they smacked him for being obnoxious, until there was nobody to talk to anymore

The Crossroads, so named because it was the point where the territories of all four of the Card Kingdoms touched each other and it was composed of a circular-shaped 100 foot diameter of neutral territory where the most important Conferences were held between all four Kingdoms. It was a most ironic name because it implied a heavy concentration of people would pass through, however it was anything but. Gilbert didn't think he'd seen a single person pass through the Crossroads in any of the however-many-years he'd been here.

That was another thing about the Crossroads; it was the first place that all the Jokers were banished to and nobody wanted to get anywhere near them. Gilbert wasn't stupid; he knew the Joker reputations as well as everyone else did. Being a Joker himself now, he could see why they were known to commit the atrocious acts he'd heard described. There was no reason to keep being human here. He wasn't so far gone, but Gilbert could feel his own desire to retain his human decency slip a little further with each passing year. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if there were other Jokers to talk to, maybe, but there weren't; he was literally all alone here. He only regretted that he hadn't realized before now, before he could do nothing to change the circumstances, how truly inhumane this punishment was.

Actually, that wasn't true. He'd come to regret a lot of things since arriving here.

His first most immediate regret was the way he'd yelled at Erszébet in his initial humiliation at having her watch him become reduced to nothing more than a Joker. His shredded pride wasn't enough of an excuse to justify his actions towards her and he had no way of being able to apologize to her. Later, he'd regretted that he'd practically abandoned his baby brother and he'd been very worried about him in those first few months, but when he didn't see any invasive armies marching in, he figured that Ludwig was fine and that whoever was voted King was managing well (or that Kiku and Rome were able to compensate enough for the inadequacies).

Past those two big ones, the other regrets had been coming in over the years like a trickle of water slowly drowning him. He wished he'd been able to _prove_ Ivan was responsible for that mill explosion. He wished that he could have actually killed the bastard so that his banishment – or would it be execution at that point? – wouldn't be for nothing. He wished he could go and annoy his old man some more in his old age. He wished he could watch Lutz finish growing up and become King. He wished he'd gotten to rough house with Hungary some more like he used to. He even wished he could be around to tease Roderich about liking Erszébet and he even missed getting smacked in the head with a random frying pan! He wished that he'd shown his war strategist teacher, Ol' Fritz, how grateful he was for his teachings and his support. He wished he'd been able to figure out why the old man's charitable and generous granddaughter, Louise, always made him feel like he'd swallowed a crapload of butterflies whenever he thought about her. He wished that he'd gotten a chance to payback that Feliks guy in the Club Kingdom for convincing him that the doughnuts in their kingdom have spirits that haunt those who ate them. The list of regrets he had just went on and on and got even sillier and more ridiculous the longer he remained, including such regrets as dying a virgin and not putting caterpillars on the Queen of Spades eyebrows while he slept during part of a meeting.

Gilbert was shocked out of his doldrums by a sudden, high-pitched human screech and he stood up from where he was sitting on the roof, jerking his head over to where the sound had come from. Who the hell…? Who was stupid enough to get this close to the Crossroads? Did they have a death wish or something? Figuring that he might as well go see who was stupid enough to brave the dreaded Crossroads, Gilbert leapt from one rooftop to the other in the direction of where he heard the sound and it took him all the way to the outskirts on the border with Spade. Upon arrival, he abruptly wished he hadn't even bothered getting up. The source of the scream was some kid dressed up like a devil or something that was now hanging upside down from the tree noose trap that he had setup to catch _food_ for himself, since there was just _so_ much of it in the Crossroads. Even worse, the kid saw him.

"Hey you jerk! I see you standing on that roof; get me down from here!" the boy shouted imperiously at him.

Gilbert instantly decided that he didn't like his bossy attitude. "Why, should I?" Gilbert asked as he slowly and deliberately sat down on the roof, letting his legs dangle off the sides and his tail make lazy loop-the-loops behind his back. "I have absolutely no reason to help you at all."

"Yes, you do, jerk! I'm a Joker just like you, so you have to help me!"

Gilbert's eyes twitched in irritation, despising this kid more and more with every time he opened his mouth. This kid had the _gall_ to claim that he was a Joker? What kind of sick game was he playing at? If he could, he'd drag the child back to his parents by the ear and chew them out for treating the matter of the Jokers as a game and _not _as the serious topic that it was. Speaking of said parents, why weren't they here, or did they even care enough about this child to bother supervising him?

"You keep being rude and calling me a jerk like that, and you're not going to find yourself on the ground for a _long_ while," Gilbert growled, his temper mildly held back. "So if you want to get back down on the ground on two feet, you're gonna have to shape up that attitude and be respectful to those older than you, or did your parents even _teach _you manners?"

The boy pouted, dangling from his trap a little while longer in silence before he said in a much more subdued voice, "Can you please get me down, sir?"

Gilbert grinned ferociously at his success. "Of course I can, small Spade child, now that you've asked me so kindly! You sit tight right there, 'kay, and I'll get you down good."

Gilbert slipped off the roof and landed on the ground in a crouched position to let his entire body absorb the impact of the drop and sauntered over to the base of the tree where the rope was anchored. He considered untying it and letting it all go at once, but decided against it. The kid was a rude little twit if you let him get away with it, but he _could_ behave properly when you made it clear he wasn't going to get away with any of that shit. He untied the knot around the tree and slowly lowered the brat to the ground until he could stand up on his own.

"Alright, you're down. Now untie the rope from your leg and go home. You've already cost me several more hours to trap a meal from this Spade forest, I don't need any more of them going to waste."

"But I already told you! I'm a Joker too, so that means I live in the Crossroads!" the Spadian boy protested as he stood up.

Gilbert scowled and was quickly regretting not dropping the kid on his head and knocking him out to get him away from the Crossroads without putting up a fuss. Now that he got a good look at the boy though, he saw that he had indeed tried to make himself look like a Joker. His clothes were all black except for the undershirt, which was red, and he'd even had a brown mostly-circular patch of fabric in the shape of a devil's head on the front of his jacket. Apparently somebody had described the Joker clothes well enough to him that he knew they all had the devil face on their jackets, but not well enough to know that it was always red and on the back. As for the horns and tail, he wore a black hat on his head with two conical pieces sticking out for his 'horns' and he'd just wound a long enough strip of cloth around his waist and tied it so that it would hang at the back for his 'tail'. The tail probably kept its weight from the black arrowhead paperweight that was attached at the very end of it. He really didn't know why the kid was wearing a red handkerchief around his neck though. Also he looked vaguely familiar, though he was sure he'd never seen the kid before in his life. Gilbert might have admitted the child's creative imagination in pulling off a Joker costume were he not so thoroughly pissed off.

"Don't you dare joke around about that," Gilbert growled. "I don't know what your parents told you, but being a Joker's not a game or something fun, now go back home before I get _really_ angry and eat you. You're not the first kid I'll have eaten, you know?" he added with a predatory smile and licked his lips for added effect.

It was a lie; he'd never eaten another human, much less a kid, in his life, but there was certainly no harm in making good use of the vicious Joker reputation if it meant that the kid would go away and leave him alone. Well, at least he was shaking like a leaf now; pity he hadn't turned tail and run like Rome's Messina family grandsons Lovino, Feliciano, and Seborgo would have.

"I-I-I'm n-not l-leaving," he stuttered, "I k-k-know that the J-Jokers are t-t-the worst cri-criminals, but I'm not- I'm not- I'm not going back, e-even if you want to- want to- eat me!"

Gilbert's expression turned skeptical as he stared down at the trembling boy. _Really_ now. He was that desperate to become a Joker of all things. "Why?"

The boy stopped shaking a little and looked up at him confused. His eyes were blue. "Huh?"

"If you know how bad it is being a Joker, then why do you want to be one?"

The Joker-wannabe-child cast his gaze down at the ground and scuffed his toe against the ground. "It will be better than being at home," he mumbled.

Gilbert gave an obvious snort of disbelief. "Hardly!"

"It will!" he protested loudly and Gilbert was a little surprised to see that he was on the verge of tears. Dude, what the hell? "It will because it has to! Ever since we got that new King, Dad's been paying more attention to him than to me, and he doesn't play with me much anymore either. He always seems to be in a bad mood and when he gets home, he always tells me to not to bother him, and lately, he and Mom have been yelling a lot about the King too. I never stay and listen when they start yelling, but I hear my name brought up sometimes, so I know they're yelling about me, but I don't know what I've done wrong to make them hate me so much, especially Dad. So that's why I decided to run away and become a Joker. They didn't want me around anyway so I left so that I wouldn't be a nuisance to them anymore."

This kid has issues. That was the first thing Gilbert thought when he'd finished his explanation, but then kids aren't exactly known for their good logic; that had to be learned, and Gilbert could see why the kid might think that being a Joker was better than staying at home where he felt unloved, even if the logic was faulty.

"So the Spades got a new King, huh? You remember how long ago that was?"

"Um-hm. I was six when Grandpapa died and we got that new jerk King and I'm twelve now, so it was six years ago."

"Six years?!" Gilbert repeated, his expression stunned. He'd been living alone for more than six years? No _wonder_ he'd been losing his sanity! "Dang, I've really been out of the loop for a while now. So your Dad works pretty closely with the King, jas?"

"Of course he does!" the boy, "My dad's the Queen of Spades!"

"The Queen of-! Wait, you're Arthur's boy?! Peter?!" Gilbert exclaimed, suddenly realizing why he'd thought the kid looked familiar. Those cursed eyebrows!

"Y-Yeah, that's me, but how did you know?" Peter asked, looking taken aback.

"What? You don't remember the previous King of Hearts?"

Peter's blue eyes suddenly widened impressively. "You don't mean you're the Joker King Gilbert, are you?"

"Oh, is that what they're calling me these days?" Gilbert said with a dry, humorless laugh, "The Joker King. Hilarious."

"But doesn't that mean you're King of the Jokers?" Peter asked innocently.

"And _that's_ the irony of it, kid!" Gilbert shouted, his tone bitter. "I ain't King of _nothing _anymore. There's not even any other Jokers around to rule over."

"That's not true! I'm a Joker! I could recognize you as _my _King!" Peter declared enthusiastically.

Gilbert only rolled his eyes. "And I already told you, kid, that you're _not_ hanging around, no matter _how_ messed up your family situation is back home. The Crossroads is one of the worst places to live and there's no future for you here excepting a lonesome death. Even if you don't go back home to Daddy dearest, even living in one of the other Card Kingdoms will provide you with a better life then what you could ever have here at the Crossroads where all things end. Now get lost already."

"But I don't want to live in any of the other Card Kingdoms!"

"Oh really?" Gilbert said sarcastically and made a dramatic show of sitting down to listen on the big rock next to the tree he'd used for his noose trap, the end of his tail being the only outward sign of his increased ire, "And why might that be, little Prince Spade?"

"Because all the Kingdoms are the same; all of the monarchs are focused on is the improvement of the system. The achievements of individuals are overlooked when all that matters is the greater good for the benefit of the Kingdom," Peter said with a _very_ serious face.

"Because when the system is improved, everyone else's lives are improved and made more equal as a result," Gilbert responded immediately with a bored roll of his eyes, having previously been one of those very monarchs that this kid was criticizing.

"But who gets to decide what the greater good for the Kingdom is?" Peter asked in retaliation and Gilbert's red eyes focused on him immediately, slightly surprised to hear such a philosophical question come from the boy's mouth. "How is the greater good defined? Is there some book that lists a definition for it? And if there is, then how many ways can it be interpreted, and how much is that greater good affected depending on whether it's defined under a strict interpretation or a loose one? If there is no definition, then should it be up to the King to decide what constitutes the greater good? The King is elected by the patriarchs of the noble families, but what if they're not interested in the greater good and they elect somebody who's corrupt and not interested in the greater good, or worse, a weak, mindless yes-man puppet who is lead around by the nose into doing whatever others want of him? The King has the most power and yet there's hardly any balance in determining who is elected. If anything, it's the King who should be voted by the people and the Queen who should be chosen by the Electors, but nobody in the government will never entertain that thought because it's too difficult within the Card Kingdoms to disturb the status quo when a system is functioning well. I know my ancient history too and the only reason why we have our current still-faulty system was because the Card Kingdoms had undergone a violent revolution that had spread from the Diamonds where Marianne Aquitaine was spearheading the Reform movement. So I don't want to be part of a Kingdom that refuses to recognize and amend the flaws in its own system before it's too late for anything but drastic measures. I reject it entirely and wish to be entirely in control of my own future. _That's_ the full reason for why I want to be a Joker."

As Peter took in several heavy breaths of fresh air, Gilbert continued to stare at him in mild surprise. He definitely talked like an educated youngster when he really put his mind to doing so. That alone was worth the wide eyes since Gilbert wouldn't have put it past the kid to have not cared at all for his studies and would do everything in his power to forget them entirely (though now it ticked him off that the kid had been acting like a brat earlier because he'd learned he could get away with that kind of attitude and childish language), but the philosophical reasoning and arguments behind it were so well thought out and supported that it didn't even matter if his motivation to pursue these thoughts was based exclusively on his dislike for the current Spade King (and he suspected it was since he couldn't see any other reason for a twelve-year-old to contemplate such negative radical thoughts against a functioning system). Even he, who'd been known as a great reformer of the Hearts before his Joker transformation and banishment, had never considered the points that Peter had brought up. With such adult reasoning Gilbert couldn't really see any logical reason not to accept Peter as a Joker now.

"Alright Peter, you've convinced me," Gilbert said with a sigh as he stood up from his rock and stuck his hands in his pockets. "I'll accept you as a Joker if you'll accept me as your Joker King!" he declared with his signature cheeky grin, an expression that was oddly unfamiliar on his face after such long disuse.

"Yes! Thank you, Your Majesty!" Peter said happily with a very quick bow to his new king. "So now that I'm a citizen of the Crossroads, what do I have to know?"

Once Peter had gotten over the bratty factor, Gilbert realized that he was actually a lot like Ludwig when he was a kid and it made him smile at the thought of getting to help take care of another kid. He did like kids, but he wouldn't stand for any of that disrespectful crap that some seemed to think they could get away with.

"Well, first of all, you have to know that I am awesome!" Gilbert began and thus Peter started his life as a Joker at the Crossroads where all things end. Well… maybe not _all_ things.

* * *

_Tada! Finally finished with my base story for if ever I want to write more Cardverse fics, because this one is going to be my frame of reference for character, potential plots hinted at, background, setup, etc. Man, I had a really hard time thinking of a way for Gilbert to be convinced that his looking after Peter would be an okay thing to do and having to take care of a child will help stimulate his mind and prevent him from going insane and being all depressed and stuff._

_Weeee! I got to mention Ol'Fritz, yay! XD Also, um… the Louise mentioned here is Queen Louise of Prussia, so yeah._


End file.
